Soo I'm now realizing that I should've saved that Dad post for today but I didn't sooo everybody scroll down n you'll see it!! I cry everytime I read it xD
when you’re younger, being smart and being able to pass classes easily without studying is not a good thing
because then when you hit a point where you do have to study for classes, you have no idea how to study And then you end up sitting staring at your book for 2 hours thinking to yourself: Maybe if I sleep on it some sort of book osmosis will occur and I’ll absorb the information from my book into my mind And then you cry. Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there? Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is? Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time. Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier? Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit. Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her. Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet. Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math. Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today. Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations. Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book. Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it. Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them* Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave. Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so... Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass. Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know. Dad: Fuck the government. Dad: Fuck the school board. Dad: Close the door. Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens. Dad: I love puns. Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes. Dad: Please shut up. Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird. Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music. Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out. Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there. Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen. Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy. Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both. Dad: They act like I care what they think. Dad: I hate homework. Dad: I have decided to become a politician. Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed. This is my son. His name JJ. That short for James Jr. (James is bae so that his dad) He my fav, JJ not jamez. I like him better than his dad... He kinda ugly. U.U Nothing sucks more than being upset Then feeling like your being childish for being upset Which makes you feel even more upset for not being in control of your emotions sentient beings are supposed to feel emotions, you don’t have to control what you feel- controlling how you act while feeling them is what matters. Map of the World by Natural Skin Color i’m really dumbfounded that i never realized skin colour is literally just caused by being closer to or farther from the equator and the resulting sun exposure and skin darkening actually, its an adaptation. natural selection. people with darker skin are selected for in areas near the equator, where the melanin that causes the darker color protects them from radiation and protects them from skin cancer and other health defects, and because they are healthier they can pass on that trait more. people near the poles have lighter skin because it allows them absorb more of the limited sunlight to convert to vitamin d. THIS IS THE THING SOME PEOPLE HATE OTHER PEOPLE OVER. A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke: I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra. It has a little lettuce bow. I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god |
AuthorThis blog is basically about me, my life, and stuff that I like/ find interesting. Enjoy seeing the world the way I do, you may learn a lil something. Archives
April 2017
Categories
All
|